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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 10, 2009 3:05am-4:00am EDT

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captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. i appreciate it. what a great crowd. welcome. weome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. that you very much. it's wednesday, i feel good. happy wednesday, i'm settling back into work here. summer vacation's sadly cong to an end. not for the obama family, they just got back from martha's vineyard. now they're going on another vaction -- joe biden is really excited for the car trip. he loves sticking he head out the window. [ laughter ] that's really cute. yesterday, ex governor eliot spitzer started work as a professor at new york city college where he will teach a two-hour long political science class. [ laughter ]
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last time he did something for three hours, it cost him, like, 15 grand. [ laughter and applause ] a good deal for him. he's like, "this is --" and here in new york, the health department has started putting up these antisoda posters. have you seen these? antisoda -- throughout the city showing like pure liquid fat being poured into a glass. [ audience groans ] people have been really affected by the ads, going into stores and saying, "hey, do you have that new all-fat soda? that thing looks great." [ laughter ] fantastic. the toyota camry is the number one selling car in the u.s., because of the cash for clunkers program. the toyota camry. yeah, i think obama is getting a little carried away. now he's letting people trade in old american children for newer japanese children. [ laughter ] that's a little bit over the top. it's too much. it just doesn't make any sense. a new study from the university of maryland finds that swine flu easily overtakes other strains of the flu.
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and you know it's bad when the bird flu is worried about the swine flu. [ laughter ] that's just a battle of the -- flus. [ light laughter ] can i have that card there, steve? [ cheers and applause ] how you doin'? hey, how are you? sorry about that. how are you doing? all right. good to see you. what's up, guys? one of those cards has bird flu on it, the other has swine flu. [ laughter ] mix it amongst yourselves. hey, you guys hear michael jackson will finally be buried on thursday in a hidden monument at the forest lawn cemetery. it will still be pretty easy to find, though, it's the one with the ferris wheel behind it. so, that's -- [ laughter ] you'll be able to find that one. i was reading this thing on the internet. this is insane. the catholic church issued a special sex prayer for married
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couples to recite before they have sex. this replaces the old catholic policy of having unprotected sex and praying afterwards. [ laughter ] that's the old-fashioned way. [ applause ] it could be a good thing. i could be wrong. whitney houston getting a lot of criticism for a shaky comeback peormance in central park yesterday morning. you hear about that? i thought she sounded pretty good. but, you know, when she hitshe high notes, there was a little crack in her voice. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] but i thought she sounded -- she sounded pretty good. i almost held a straight face through the whole thing, it was just ridiculous. [ laughter ] hey exciting, the sequel to the "sex in the city" movie. they just began filming here in new york. going pretty smoothly. but, yesterday an extra was injured when a double entendre fell on her head. [ laughter ] she's gonna be all right.
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a man in pennsylvania said he robbed a bank, get this, so that he could go to jail and get away from his overbearing wife. [ laughter ] the man said now that he has time to think about it, his regular wife wasn't nearly as bad as his prison wife. [ laughter ] finally, spencer pratt announced that he's legally changing his name to king spencer pratt. [ audience groans ] because he said there should be a king of america. too bad he didn't go with his first choice, the douche of windsor. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got such a fun show tonight everybody. thanks for watching. from the new film, "gamer" and "the ministers," john leguizamo is here. [ cheers and applause ] he's a great guy. he's a good actor.
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we have our neighbor from the studio across the hall, dr. oz is stopping by -- [ cheers and applause ] -- with a little healthy advice for us. he's going to be good, dr. oz. and we have animal expert jeff musial is here with some exciting members of the animal kingdom. [ cheers and applause ] he always brings some crazy animal. i think the guys -- i think he's insane, that guy. i think he's nuts. and then, of course, we have a performance from the legendary -- i can't even believe this, i'm so excited, smokey robinson is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] yes! that's a lot of show. that is a lot of show. i'm so excited. i love him. it's time, everybody, once again, for one of my favorite games in the whole wide world. it's time to play, "lick it for ten," everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and as you all know, this game is exactly what it sounds like. we pick a few people from the audience, they come down here, they lick something and then we give them ten bucks. [ light laughter ] higgins, tell us which audience members will playing, "lick it for ten." >> steve: well, tonight,
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contestants are -- ♪ -- samantha kelly, jonathan diaz, tom lindsay and joel nethery. they're the lucky men and women who have agreed to come down here and lick an unknown object for ten american dollars! jimmy? >> jimmy: pleasure. nice to see you. nice to see you guys. welcome to, "lick it for ten." now, tonight's lick-it is a very special "start of the football season" edition. which means you will all be licking football themed items for ten bucks. are you guys ready to kick things off? >> yeah. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: very, very good. all right, contestant number one, what is your name, and where are you from? >> sam, and i'm from cornwall, new york. but i go to school at nyu. >> jimmy: wow, very good. okay. have you started school yet? >> we start next week, but i'm a sophomore. >> jimmy: oh my god, so you're just drunk right now. all the way up 'til -- are you a football fan? >> i am. >> jimmy: oh, my god. well this is gonna be fun. steve, what will contestant number one be licking? >> steve: well, jimmy, sam will be licking this row of nfl bobblehead dolls. each of these bobbling bobble's represents one of the 32 teams
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in the national football league. each with hand-painted uniforms. each has a spring loaded neck joints for hours and hours of optimal bobbling. they're a comple set of nfl bobbleheads. they retail for $145. jimmy? >> jimmy: thank you, higgins. thank you, higgins. now, here you do. what you're going to do is, you're gonna start here at the end of the table. and you're going to lick the heads of these bobblehead dolls going all the way down the line, one at a time. just lick, lick, lick, lick, lick. and uh -- [ laughter ] but, for all these licks, you still only get ten bucks. [ laughter ] roots, quest, can we get a little licking music here, a little drum roll? [ rum roll ] go for it, pal. yes! [ cheers and applause ] can we see that again in super sexy slo-mo, please. ♪ [ laughter ]
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there you go. they seem to really -- they're, like, nodding their head. they seem to enjoy that. here's your ten bucks. a deal is a deal. thank you, pal. >> thank you. >> jimmy: move on down. how are you, buddy? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: what's your name, where you from? >> jonathan, i'm from queens. >> jimmy: you're from queens. oh, very good. [ cheers ] you brought some friends with you, huh? >> yeah. oh, yeah. i did. >> jimmy: are you a football fan? >> of course. let's go jets. >> jimmy: jets, all right, very good. [ scattered cheers ] they were here yesterday. great. we have got to love the jets here, too. a lot of different fans here. this is fine. you can be from queens and like the jets. where do you usually watch the game? do you watch it at your house? a buddies' house? >> no, at home at my parents house. [ light laughter ] yeah, with my father. it's a good, sunday ritual. >> no. >> jimmy: oh, you just -- >> well, i mean i do. i do live with my parents. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just couldn't lie to national television. [ laughter ] it's getting late -- no, it's all right. it's cool to live with your parents.
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it's fine. higgins, what do we have for contestant number two to be licking here? >> steve: well, jimmy, jonathan will be licking this edible football field. this edible football field has been lovingly hand-crafted from the finest frostings in all the land. and for calorie counters out there, it's completely transfat free, it retails for $174.99. jimmy? >> jimmy: all right, very nice. here's how this is gonna work. okay? first, i'm going to ask you to put on this official "lick it for n" shirt there, so you don't get anything any stuff on you. get that on there. now, i'm gonna tell you what we got to do here. i'm gonna have you lie down. and then, underneath this -- this is all made of frosting from underneath. so, higgins will help me out. and we're gonna move this football field down. and you're gonna try to score a touch down in the licking way. >> all right. >> jimmy: maybe lay down there first. and they we'll -- with you're head toward higgins, you're feet towards me. no, no, no! no, no. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: lay on the ground. lay on the ground. lay on the ground. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: turn around, turn
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around. lay on your back. okay, very good. all right, perfect. >> all right, this is going to be interesting. >> jimmy: all right, this is good. we'll pull this -- pull this, this way first. >> okay. >> jimmy: don't start licking until i tell you. >> i wanna lick it. >> jimmy: now higgins, i'm gonna go towards you. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: okay. really, keep going, keep going, keep going. >> wow. >> jimmy: all right. now, when you're ready -- when you're ready -- [ laughter ] are you okay down there? >> yeah, i'm good. >> jimmy: okay, all right. fantastic. this is great. now -- [ laughter ] here we go. when you're ready, we'll start. roots, take a little licking music. ♪ and here we go! he's coming down! he's on -- he might be goin' all the way! there he goes! [ cheers and applause ] wow! come on out, buddy. yeah. but -- fantastic. you look fantastic. there you go. look at the camera. this is great. there you go. we get a towel for you. don't worry about it, that's great.
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that was fantastic. this is -- >> wow. >> jimmy: no, you got it all off. all right. can we see that in super sexy slo-mo, please? ♪ look at that. you did a good job, buddy. that is great. that is great, buddy. you did great. here's your ten bucks. here's your keys, too. they fell out of your pocket. >> oh, thank you! >> jimmy: great job, buddy. good lick. [ applause ] you go around there. that's great. now i've just been informed by headquarters that our final round tonight is a two-person lick. so, let's meet our contestants number three and four. what are your names, and where are you from? >> tommy lindsay, staten island new york. [ cheers and applause ] good man, good man. what your name? >> joel nethery, seattle, washington. >> jimmy: seattle, washington. very good. so, seahawks? >> no. >> jimmy: no. do you like football? >> i love football. >> jimmy: who do you love? >> the eagles. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: what a kiss-ass. [ laughter ] you know they're from philly. what do you like? >> giants. we like beating the eagles. [ audience ohs ] [ scattered applause ] >> steve: oh, no, you did not! >> jimmy: yeah, you can't make questlove mad. >> i love the roots. >> jimmy: yeah, you got to love them. [ laughter ] they're the best. they're happy, they're happy. higgins, what do we have for these two lucky lickers today? >> well, jimmy, tom and joel will be racing to lick these footballs into the end zone for a touchdown. each football is made with premium cow hide leather with a retail value of $39.99. jimmy? >> jimmy: all right, here we go. all right, guys. come on down here, and we'll start over here. and what you're going to do is -- this is a competition, okay? so you'll get down on all fours, and then you'll start licking, and whoever -- at the starting line, whoever can lick it into the end zone gets the ten bucks, okay? [ audience ohs ]
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now -- you ready? >> good luck. >> jimmy: yeah, good luck. all right, here we go. roots, can i little licking football music, please? ♪ go! go for it! come on guys! yes! yes! [ cheers and applause ] that was great. i think we have a winner, though! excellent job! let's see that again in super sexy slo-mo, everybody. ♪ >> look at this, dude. >> jimmy: there you go. see -- [ laughter ] that's fun. got some speed going there. that was great. oh, congratulations. here's your $10 there. since you've been playing -- we have -- for all our lickers, we have "lick it for ten" t-shirts. here you go, right there here's a "lick it for ten" t-shirt for you. you already have one. i'm sorry this is a girl's shirt. [ laughter ]
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you got the $10 you can go down to the gift store and get the other one. stick around everybody. we just licked for ten. we'll be right back with animal expert jeff musial. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ new one a day vitacraves. a complete adult multivitamin in a gummy with ingredients... to support energy, immunity, and your inner child. one a day vitacraves. multivitamin gummies for own-ups. oh, pressure on. careful!! [ glass clatters ] what are you two doing? he's trying to beat my record. 61 diss, and a garlic press. oh, that's too full! those will never get clean. they got clean when i broke the record. a fork. really? never gonna happen! [ chuckles ] sorry, buddy. so close.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, everybody. thank you so much for watching. our first guest is a friend of ours who's animal expert has been kind enough to stop by with some of his friends. please welcome jeff musial, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. oh, no. okay. >> hi. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: he's foaming at the mouth. >> i'm back, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yeah, you're back. >> you know what? >> jimmy: no, i don't. >> give me some bananas real quick. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> going to get him -- >> jimmy: yeah, get him out of here. okay, he's foaming at the mouth. [ light laughter ] >> here, feed him then. >> jimmy: okay. here we are. hi, buddy. hi. >> isn't that awesome? >> jimmy: yeah. do i hold it? no -- >> no, just let him take it. >> jimmy: okay, thank you for telling me now. >> no, okay, grab it. >> jimmy: grab it now? >> okay, now feed him. >> jimmy: what is this? >> it's a southeast asian binturong or bear cat.
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he's the largest prehensile tail mammal in the world. and he smells like fritos. smell him. >> jimmy: no. i -- >> come on, smell him. [ laughter ] come on -- man up, jimmy! smell him! >> jimmy: i'm not going to smell him. he's afraid. >> it smells like fritos. >> jimmy: yeah, he does. >> isn't that awesome? feed him another -- feed him -- watch. give him a grape. he'll take it like real gentle. >> jimmy: oh. >> just real -- hold it there. >> jimmy: like that? >> yeah, real gentle. >> jimmy: hi. >> isn't that awesome? >> jimmy: i got so scared. >> so cool. such a good boy. >> jimmy: he is. yeah. now, how old is he? >> he's about five. they're super rare. there'sonly about 157 of them in the united states. feel his tail. it's real bristly like fur. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> isn't itool? >> jimmy: yeah. and where did you get it? >> and it's rare because, you know, the disease sars? [ laughter ] the disease sars? >> jimmy: do i know the disease sars? >> yeah. these guys can carry it. so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know how this is legal. >> no, it's cool. but -- >> jimmy: between swine flu and sars, i'm screwed tonight.
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>> no, so you can't actually bring them into the country anymore. yeah, you can give him another banana. >> jimmy: how many bananas will he eat? >> he'll pack them all in. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's his name? >> his name is wyatt. >> jimmy: hey wyatt. >> like wyatt earp. because they normally like, just kind of hang out. like he'll chill and they usually put their hands on -- >> jimmy: don't worry about that. that's a thousand dollar microphone. no problem. no, i don't mind at all as long as i don't get bitten. >> yeah you won't get bitten. if they bite you, it's like blood poisoning, like right away. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what else do you have? >> okay. okay. >> jimmy: blood poisoning. >> good job, andy. thank you, sir. >> jimmy: yeah, he is great. >> want to eat a banana? >> jimmy: no, i don't want to eat a banana. what else did you bring out? >> oh, this guy is so cool. >> jimmy: yeah, he's good. i like him. >> now, this guy -- >> jimmy: yeah. here, hold this. >> this guy is called -- >> jimmy: holding your banana. [ laughter ] >> you said it, i didn't. but -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you gonna take this on the road? >> sorry.
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here, watch this, ready? >> jimmy: yeah. >> stick 'em up! put 'em high had the sky! [ light lauger ] you do it. watch. try. >> jimmy: stick 'em up! put 'em high -- >> okay. he's gonna bite you. do it again! do it again! do it again! come on, do it again! >> jimmy: stop it! >> come on. put 'em up. do it. >> jimmy: stick 'em up -- he's gonna bite him. >> put 'em up, stick 'em up! [ laughter ] don't ever be an animal trainer. can you give him a walnut? >> jimmy: yeah. >> watch this. he's going to crack a nut. watch this. just a second. now, they can feel the soft spot in the nut with their tongue, so >> jimmy: okay. >> he's going to feel the soft spot, and then he's gonna -- >> jimmy: sorry. [ laughter ] >> you were in his space right there. he was upset with you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it's cool, though. so he'll feel the soft spot and crack into it. they're found in -- >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] >> you find them in south america, central america. >> jimmy: yep. >> give him a hard nut. give him another nut. see if there is a softer one. no, give him a grape. give him a grape. yeah, see. >> jimmy: okay. you want a grape? >> now, hand it to him.
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this is so cool. hand it to him. >> jimmy: the grape? >> yeah, he'll take it. >> jimmy: hey, how are you? >> isn't it cool? now, watch this, you're going to act like a tree. >> jimmy: no, no, no -- hi. okay, here we go. >> isn't it cool? >> jimmy: yeah, who else we got? i'm frightened now. >> come one, this is so cool. >> jimmy: yeah, i know -- >> stick 'em up! put 'em up in the air! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: stick 'em up! put 'em up in the air! [ laughter ] yeah, okay, thank you. what else you got? >> you want to see another animal? >> jimmy: yeah, please. thank you so much, he's great. >> this is from south america -- >> jimmy: oh, okay, sorry. he's from south america? >> no, not him. the bird. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah, that's mark. he's from buffalo. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: hey. >> isn't this cool? >> jimmy: i like this guy. >> this guy right here is called a bush baby. >> jimmy: yeah. [ audience aws ] >> isn't he the cutest little thing? >> jimmy: yeah, he's a cute animal. >> so neat. he looks like the little movies, almost like a cartoon character. >> jimmy: yeah. i almost put my finger in his mouth. >> no, it's cool. watch. you can put him like this -- >> jimmy: all right. >> yeah, watch. now, wait that doesn't work. hang on. >> jimmy: okay! >> no, it's okay. >> jimmy: i thought it was -- i thought it was poop. it was a grape. >> no, it was just a grape. >> jimmy: it was a grape. all right. i thought it was poop.
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but it was a grape. came out of his mouth. >> you can give him a grape. he'll eat it. >> jimmy: you know what? i would rather him not poop on me. >> just give him a grape. yeah. >> jimmy: you want me to give him one? >> yeah, this will be awesome. >> jimmy: okay, good. let me givhim one now. we're going -- [ audience aws ] all right, you're gentle. >> isn't that so cool? these guys do a neat thing that's called pee-walking. so they actually pee on their feet, right? and they pee on their feet and when they walk, they like rub it in. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's like, and within 24 hours it turns into like maple syrup, and so it's like really stinky and awesome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: more with jeff musial and his friends when we come back, everybody. can you stick around? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ner beeps ) and that's one... ( sighs ) ( sighs ) ( quacking ) ( growls lightly ) really? unlike ordinary candles, glade scented oil candle tins... quickly fill the room with fragrance. rings ) - hello there! - hi! - mmmm... nice! - very nice! make the mood in a moment with scented oil candle tins.
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new herbal essences tousle me softly collection. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back, everybody. we're here with jeff musial. jeff, those were some amazing animals. what other animals do you have? >> remember last time i said i was bringing dangerous, deadly, crazy stuff and you were like, "yeah, do it"? >> jimmy: no. >> no, this is going to be awesome. >> jimmy: i don't remember that. >> no, you did. you were like, "this is going to be awesome."
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and you were all pumped, remember? >> jimmy: no, i don't at all. >> this is awesome. >> jimmy: all right, what do you have? >> oh, wait until you see this. this is one of my favorite animals. check this out. look at that. [ audience aws ] isn't this awesome? look at this thing. >> jimmy: wow. >> this is called an alligator snapping turtle. look at this. check it out. we'll see if he'll open up. >> jimmy: okay. >> he's one of the largest turtles -- >> jimmy: i'm afraid. >> largest fresh water turtles. isn't that cool? look inside. >> jimmy: oh! wow! >> look inside. come closer. >> jimmy: no, no. >> don't' put your hands in. see inside his mouth? they normally have a lure, and they're like -- >> jimmy: oh, my god! >> they normally lure they're prey in. right? now watch this. we're going to put a camel -- a carrot in his mouth. this is so cool. ready? >> jimmy: you're going to put a camel -- >> no, not a camel! not a camel, but a carrot. grab the carrot. >> jimmy: okay. >> now, hand me that. now you're going to put it in his mouth. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> no, i got your carrot. >> jimmy: yeah, right. [ laughter ] i don't want to do that. i'm not putting that-- >> come on. >> because say this is a fish, right? >> jimmy: okay. >> and they are found in florida, louisiana, you find them in the bayou. >> jimmy: really? like swimming around? >> no, they sit in one spot for,
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like, years. they never move. right? so say he's like hanging out there and this fish comes along -- "oh, my goodness. look, a worm." and his tongue looks like a worm. so they go in the mouth and all of a sudden, bam! [ audience oohs ] and it just comes again and he's like -- and it takes so long and absolutely -- getting annihilated and they swallow them right down and then open up again, right? >> jimmy: man, oh, man. it's frightening. >> it's cool. he just opens his mouth and -- here, do it. i'll hold on. you just hold this part. now stick it inside his mouth -- >> jimmy: ah! watch out! >> like right in there. just -- >> jimmy: hey, buddy -- >> like a ginsu. go, touch it! >> jimmy: ah! that was -- he didn't want to eat any more. i feel like -- >> no he does. >> jimmy: i feel like i'm -- >> jimmy, do it! [ laughter ] do it now! touch his mouth! touch -- >> jimmy: what? i am -- [ laughter and applause ] that's it. get him away from me. i don't want him near me. i don't want him near me anymore. he frightened me. >> i don't want him to ruin
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the set. >> jimmy: jeff, you've got to go. you've got to go, jeff. you've got to go or i'll have nightmares. >> jimmy: stop making me -- >> it's like boo-yah! [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: jeff musial and his animals, everybody! john leguizamo is next. stick around. thank you, jeff. you're a good man. thank you, buddy. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ horn honks ] ♪ [ tires screech ] [ female announcer ] sometimes, you can get so much out of so little. the same is true with bath tissue too. introducing new charmin ultra soft. its new ultra soft design is softer than before. and it has so much absorbency, you can use 7 sheets vs. 28 of the leading value brand. so your family can get more mileage out of less. [ horn honks ] new charmin ultra soft. america's softest bath tissue. for clarity and shine in finish quantum.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy award-winning performer of stage and screen. he has two movies coming out this fall, "the ministers," with harvey keitel, and "gamer," which is theaters everywhere this friday. give it up for our pal, john leguizamo, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: than for coming back. >> great to be here. >> jimmy: you had a good summer. congrats on "ice age." that was the last time i saw you. >> yeah, "ice age," pushing that sucker. >> jimmy: yeah. that would have killed -- >> big dollars, yeah. >> did you have a good summer? >> i had a great summer, man. especially latin people. we've been having an amazing summer, because of sotoyor. she's in there. >> jimmy: absolutely. yeah. >> she's in there. latin women in the house. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she is going to clean up that supreme court, let me tell you, man. those soft, white dudes, they're going to be doing her pedicure and they're going to be doing her laundry. they're going to be going, "ah, we're going to reverse 'roe vs wade' - and she's going to go, "not until you give birth through your penis, you're not." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. that's what she'll say? you've got a crazy fall coming up. you've got "gamer" coming out. >> "gamer" coming out this friday, yeah. >> jimmy: this friday. and that'sbout convicts, right? that are actually avatars in the games. >> right, they're being used by kids or gamers. >> jimmy: and they're going to kill each other?
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>> right. and i'm working with gerard butler -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> who i couldn't understand between takes. >> jimmy: yeah, he's got -- >> he has got that great scottish -- [ gibberish ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like, are you talking backwards? >> messages. >> jimmy: "paul is dead?" that's what it sounds like the other way around. >> but he's only scottish. >> jimmy: yeah. and he's -- that wasn't your first video game movie, 'cause you were also in "super mario brhers." which is awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. that's what people remember. >> jimmy: that was great. >> i mean, i turned down "philadelphia" to be in "super mario brothers," because -- >> jimmy: no. >> yeah, that's because i'm a genius. that's why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah, they wanted me to be tom hanks' lover, but i didn't think he was cute enough. [ laughter ] so i did "super mario brothers" you know. >> jimmy: did you really -- he's - >> bob hoskins. >> jimmy: yeah, where's he from? he's from -- >> he's english and has that cockney accent and i couldn't understand him, either. [ laughter ] he was always like -- [ gibberish ] >> jimmy: again, you're like -- >> you need sub titles, brother. i can't understand you. >> jimmy: you're pling mario,
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you're an italian plumber. exactly. >> no, he let it go during takes, though. i broke his fingers by accident in the show. >> jimmy: you broke his fingers in the movie? >> yeah, it was my first big stunt in the movie and he gives me a toast. i forgot to tell m i was a lightweight, and then i drive the "super mario brothers"' van and stepped really hard on the accelerator, and then by accident stepped really hard on the brake, and the door came out and he broke all his fingers. and -- [ audience aws ] i know, i felt like a -- yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: wt, really? >> and he is like, [ in british accent ] "oh, fingers are cold as coke --" "my fingers are broke." >> jimmy: oh -- [ laughter ] >> i didn't understand him, man. >> jimmy: you broke his fingers. >> yeah. >> jimmy: must have been a fun movie. [ laughter ] yeah. oh, my goodness. >> yeah. i felt terrible. >> jimmy: that's crazy. >> but when you do a stunt -- whatever you do, don't -- if you're in a stunt, don't be in a scene with me. >> jimmy: you're not good. yeah, really. have you hurt other people? >> yes, i have, actually. >> jimmy: really? >> thank you for asking. >> jimmy: who else? >> "carlito's way." i did "carlito's way" with al pacino. >> jimmy: absolutely. al pacino. >> i didn't hurt pacino.
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no. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you were great in that. you killed -- >> i killed pacino. and i don't know,talian people all over the world were angry at me. they must have thought it was a documentary or something. [ laughter ] they were like, "hey, you didn't have to kill him, you mook." [ laughter ] "it's a movie." but, yeah, i was about to the shoot him, and i was ad-libbing like crazy in the movie, and they give me this flame torch for a gun instead of a regular blank gun. >> jimmy: yeah. they give that to me, which is a mistake. and louie guzman -- i was supposed to kill pacino first, and then i was supposed to shoot louie guzman. so i'm ad-libbing like crazy and i have the torch on, and i've got it on louie gazman, and louie is like "ow, ow!" and i'm like, "dude, you're overacting a little bit, aren't you?" and i'm going, ad-libbing, ad-libbing. and he says, "no, you're burning my hand." and i'm like, "oh, dude, i'm sorry man." >> jimmy: you scarred his hand? >> yeah, i scarred his hand. >>immy: oh, my gosh! how is your insurance? >> it goes up every time i'm about to do a movie. >> jimmy: this new movie that's coming out, "the ministers," you play off yourself, a twin. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i hear you are getting great reviews for it.
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now, you're twins that are hunting downandlords. >> right, right, right. well, it's going to be twice as good or twice as bad. >> jimmy: no, it's great with double the leguizamo. >> double the -- >> jimmy: "john leguizamo and john leguizamo --" >> "starring in the same feature." we were fighting each other -- >> jimmy: "directed by john leguizamo." >> that'd be too much. >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> but we play these brothers from the '70s, there was this thing called landlord lightening back in the day. where landlords trying to get rid of rent-controlled people or people who didn't pay too much. so they set the place on fire and collect the insurance. so, these brothers' parents die, so then they and they go on this vigilante thing to kill a lot of landlords. >> jimmy: and you play both dudes?. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so one -- >> double the anger. >> jimmy: the one guy -- they're both evil. >> yeah, one's got a burnt face, the other one doesn't. >> jimmy: gosh, i'm excited about th. >> yeah, it's good, it's good. >> jimmy: i want to see a clip. we have a clip of "the ministers." check it out. >> when are you going to believe me? >> how many people have to be hurt? how many people, damn it? >> what happens to them, huh? what happens to the little girl? what happens to all the people
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having everybody look out for them? what happens to all those people, huh? >> i don't know, but that's not our problem. >> that's not our problem but can you live with that? >> look, i love you, n. i really do. but you've got to understand, this is not the same thing. >> it is the same thing. it is the same thing! that's just what i'm trying to tell you. it is the same thing! >> you know what your problem is? that you think the whole world revolves around you. that's what your problem is. don't do this, don't do that. that's all i heard my whole life. dante's so nice looking. dante's so nice. >> calm down. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's good. >> bravo. >> jimmy: yeah. very good acting. "the ministers" is out october 16th. and "gamer" will be in theaters everywhere friday. john leguizamo everybody! you've got to come back. dr. oz joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ announcer: what if you could rewrite your hair's past and give it a whole new life? introducing a transformation in hair care. new aveeno nourish plus. only aveeno has harnessed the power of active naturals' wheat complex
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome back. our next guest is one the world's foremost heart surgeons and best-selling author whose popularity as oprah winfrey's health expert which led to "the . oz show." which premieres nationwide monday, september 14th. please welcome a smart and funny and healthy man, dr. mehmet oz, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you so much, buddy. >> honored. honored. >> jimmy: hey, we're neighbors! >> i know, i keep hearing the ruckus over there. so, i was like, "what's going on over here?" so, i came here for a quality control visit. >> jimmy: thank you. you have a house band over there? >> we're thinking of using roots. no, i'm -- from philelphia. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, really? you can't take the roots. >> so close! >> jimmy: i need my roots. i got to have the roots, please. you brought me a gift. >> i did. i hope you enjoy it. have you looked at it yet? >> jimmy: is it a six-pack? no? >> eh, close. >> jimmy: all right, what is it? >> let's check this out. so, i was thinking, "what can i send jimmy fallon?" and if you don't mind putting those on, they may come in handy. if you want to play with those alligator turtles -- by the way, i brought my surgery materials just in case. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. hey, you're still practicing, aren't you? >> yeah, still doing heart surgery. >> jimmy: so, you just did heart surgery like last week? >> yep. we operate on thursdays and do shows the rest of the time. >> jimmy: really? [ laughter ] >> yeah, works out pretty well. good gig. >> jimmy: i can't even put gloves on, look at this. i'm an idiot. >> please. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: look at that, this is the dumbest --
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wait. all right. >> we're going to start anyway, even if you don't have the gloves on. >> jimmy: okay -- >> you can wrestle with those wild animals, you can wrestle with these. >> jimmy: okay. >> now, these look like little patties, but i've been noticing what you guys have been eating across the hall. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i couldn't help but think you might benefit from this. that is a healthy liver. >> jimmy: what? >> yep. feel it. tell me what you think of it. >> jimmy: wait -- oh, god, it's hard as a rock. >> it's hard, right? but it's a healthy one. >> jimmy: that's a healthy liver. >> now, compare that, move it over this way a little bit. >> jimmy: okay. >> that is healthy. this is the fatty liver. look at that. take a feel of that. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> that's foie gras of the human. >> jimmy: yeah, oh, gross. i can't -- wow. >> you get a big belly, that's what you're buying. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> and take you one step further. you get too much of that, you end up with this. [ audience oohs ] and that is cirrhosis of the liver. >> jimmy: oh, so you found my liver. [ laughter ] i was wondering where it was, after a couple six-packs. that happens from just not eating right?
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>> well, you get this from eating too much, and then eventually, from too much of this, fatty liver. or if you're drinking a lot and doing other fun stuff, eventually, you end up with this. >> jimmy: i kind of do have that liver then, don't i? this is just awful. oh, my gosh. that's crazy. that's wild to even know this stuff. >> so keep it. it's yours! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great. you're the first person to ever give me that. i appreciate that. can you give us a quick -- quick tour? i know you're right across the hall. a lot of people don't understand. but you really are right across the hall. >> yeah, you want to take a look? come on over. >> jimmy: i can't take this off. this is just insane. i can't take this off. [ drum roll ] a lot of people don't realize. let's go. take a walk. >> yeah, you'll like the digs. >> jimmy: yeah, i want to see it. >> so what you do is you walk out, right across, probably 30 feet away. >> jimmy: okay. there we go. >> there we are. >> jimmy: right through here. all right. so we just leave our studio. >> we've been counting our steps, one, two, three -- six, seven. now you're on my side of the studio. >> jimmy: this feels good already. it healthy already. >> now, as you walk in here, this is where you have the human sacrifice. >> jimmy: wow. this is a great studio.
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>> walk around this way. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. this is oprah money right here. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> the roots can be right here. >> jimy: the roots can't leave -- >> we'll actually have the wild animals back here. >> jimmy: what is this right here? >> this actually rotates. >> jimmy: really? >> this will turn, it will follow you. therowd will follow you wherever you go. it's pretty cool. >> jimmy: we should make t-shirts say that "sit on it and rotate with dr. oz." [ laughter ] that's pretty good, i mean, if you think about it. which one is yours? do you have a seat here? >> no, i sit next to you. wherever you sit, i sit. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, this is amazing. >> yeah, i want to -- now, that screen is a little bigger than yours, don't you think? >> jimmy: my gosh! again, this is insane. this is what you get for being pals with oprah. yeah. we have -- my chair that i use at the desk, it's -- it's al roker's desk that he uses in his office. yeah, we try to say it's recycling, but he's just throwing out. >> does he know it's gone? >> jimmy: no, we have to give it back every morning when he does the weather. [ laughter ] can you give any --
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i don't feel as healthy as i should be, especially being across the ha from you. and i want to learn from you now. we gotta be buddies. we're neighbors. so, is there anything i should be doing? >> i'll tell you the most important thing of all. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the reason i brought those livers over there was to give you a little bit of a nudge in the right direction. from now on i'm sending you guys broccoli and barbecue sauce. >> jimmy: what? >> yep. broccoli and barbecue sauce. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, that's what you're getting from now on. the broccoli is actually the best thing to rejuvenate the liver, and the barbecue sauce, drip it on anything you want, and the reason for basting it, you don't get the cancers from over-charcoaling. it's the best combination. we'll barbecue right outside. >> jimmy: next time i see you we'll have a barbecue, okay? >> i'm on board. i'm on board. >> jimmy: you are the greatest. dr. oz, my neighbor, my buddy. >> take care. >> jimmy: "the dr. oz show" premieres monday, september 14th nationwide, check it out. dr. oz, everybody. smokey robinson performs next! come on back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] y when you first smell the incredible scent of gain laundry detergent,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. welcome back, everybody. we've got a great show coming up tomorrow, a very funny and talented actor, jason bateman will be here tomorrow. he's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] the lovely ashlee simpson-wentz will be stopping by. i love ashlee. and we have this metal band, shadows fall, will be performing tomorrow night. do you likeetal? >> i love metal. >> jimmy: oh, this will blow your pants off. [ laughter ] this is like -- this is like -- just take your hair right off your head. [ laughter and applause ] i won't even make the joke. but you've seen the before, haven't you? [ laughter ] yeah, okay. so i hope to see you guys back here tomorrow night. but next -- this is unbelievable. we have a pop music legend who just released his latest bum, it's called "time flies when you're having fun." he's backed by the roots tonight to perform the song "girlfriend."
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please welcome the legendary smokey robinson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you are my girlfriend you are my lady you are my woman you are baby ♪ ♪ ♪ you don't know what you do to a place when you walk in the room ♪ ♪ every man gets that look on his face like it's hot ♪ ♪ you are like eye candy
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one look and they all want to taste ♪ ♪ if one would try and be with you it would be a waste of his time 'cause you are mine ♪ ♪ you are my girlfriend you are my lady you are my woman you are baby ♪ ♪ sexy thing you don't flaunt but don't quit your smile or your style ♪ ♪ body language making moves to make a mans imagination run wild ♪
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♪ i'm lovin' her laughter you are my only one who can come after if we were ever done ♪ ♪ you'd be a hard act to follow with me you are my girlfriend you are my lady ♪ ♪ you are my woman you are my baby you are my girlfriend you are my lady ♪
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♪ you are my woman you are my baby ♪ >> yeah! ♪ ♪ you are my girlfriend you are my lady you are my woman you are my baby ♪ ♪ you are my girlfriend you are my lady you are my woman
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you are my baby ♪ ♪ you are my girlfriend you are my lady you are my woman you are my baby ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: honor to have you here. honor to have you here. how are you doing? >> i'm good, man. >> jimmy: thank you so much for doing this. i really appreciate this. and getting together with the roots. you guys sounded great, blending with the roots. it's great. "time flies when you're having fun" is the name the cd. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it sounds so good. i love it. smokey robinson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] visit our website,, for a bonus performance with him and the roots. my thanks to jeff musial, john leguizamo, dr. oz, smokey robinson. the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay-tuned for "carson daily." thanks for watching. have a good night. i hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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